Play

An hour ago I was so sleepy I almost didn't pick up my book to read. I knew I would end up on here again. But I did it anyway. One of these day's I'll learn.

Tonight I read about the idea of Jesus and play. Yeah, that's right P-L-A-Y...play. A few times in my christian life i've heard it mentioned or a question asked, "what do you think Jesus was like when he was a child?" But think for a minute; Jesus playing? Yeah, Jesus played. And I believe just like any other normal boy.

That idea is a little awkward to us, but its not totally out of the question. Yeah, all kids play and we know Jesus had to play at some point as a child. But what about taking the next step. How about Jesus playing as an adult? Now that one is tough. We have been taught all of our christian lives about the "seriousness" of Jesus life...His 3 yrs in ministry, all his miracles, sermons, raising people from the dead, etc. Jesus didn't play. He is the Son of God. God doesn't play. Play is for children. But I beg to differ and Mike Yaconelli does too.

Jesus first miracle was at a wedding. And if you do any kind of study on Hebrew/Jewish weddings, you will quickly find out they are nothing like our "simple" 2 or 3 hr celebrations of today. Weddings celebrations lasted days, most likely a week. That is some serious play time.

Ok, so what about the 3 yrs Jesus spent with the disciples? In reality, we only know bits and pieces of the disciples lives while they traveled and learned from Jesus. What were they doing with all the time they weren't feeding 1000's of folks or listening to Jesus teach the crowds. I don't think they sat around the campfire each night and talked theology. I would bet they played games, told jokes, told stories about their childhood adventures, talked about their families and kids, sang songs, etc. Isn't that play time.

Mike, even talked about a young actor who would act out a scene in one of his plays about the life of Jesus and the disciples, when they all go into a huge mud fight while bathing in the river. Can you imagine? 13 grown men in mud fight? I can hear the gasps for breath, the murmurs of blasphemy, the "how could you talk about our Lord like that". Yeah the Church has really done a marvelous job at teaching us about Jesus (yes that was sarcasim).

I think the church has done a very poor job of teaching us about the REAL Jesus. The Jesus we are taught about in church today is a watered down, completely un-human, shell of the person I read about in my Bible. Just look at all the stories. Jesus had a sense of humor. Look at what he told stories about: odd people, coins, building homes on sand, etc. Look at the famous "Sermon on the mount." We have been taught to take it so seriously. Relax, read it from a different viewpoint. I see Jesus laughing, smiling, picking up stones, or fish and showing them to poeple. Jesus wasn't standing behind some pulpit, in a 3 piece suit, looking all stern and serious like he had just eatin' a whole bag of lemons. :0) Come on, smile. It's ok.

Being a youth minister/director for the last 10 yrs of my life and spending 4 yrs in seminary before that, I have seen what the church has taught first hand. You are treated differently as a pastor and/or leader within the church. People treat you differently, they always seem so serious around you. They apologize for a cuss word that slips out. Conversations are cut short when you walk in a room. People always look embarrassed or uncomfortable when you are around. Why? I think it's because they have been taught you are not quite human, you are a pastor or minister. You have to act different around them. They can send you to hell or something.

So what would happen, if you did something totally unexpected, immature, or irresponsible and just played with them? HUH? Yes, played with them. What if I decided to TP (toilet paper) their house? Shoe polish their car windows? Invite everyone on the block to a huge "slip n' slide" party next satuday? What would people think then? I can hear that sucking in of air again. Most christians would throw a fit. That is so "below" a pastor, a person of his/her reputation should not be TPing someone's house!!!! But, on the other hand, I guarentee you, others would relax. They would begin to see you as a real, flesh and blood person. Someone who has a sense of humor, normal, someone that they can relate to.

I'm not sure if any of this made any sense whatsoever. All I know is that, I love to play. I love to be irresponsible and unpredictable. And guess what, it has gotten me in trouble more than once. A woman of your age TPing other's houses or throwing torilla's all over the yard. What will people think? Oh I know what most think. They are embarrassed. They think I need to grow up and be a better example for their teenagers/kids. "Oh, she is just the youth minister, its ok, its just what they do. She will grow up one of these days and get a real job."

You know what? I think Jesus would be smiling at me. I think Jesus would have been right there with me. I think he would be TPing the pastor's house right beside me.

Jesus knows how to play. And I think he spent a huge amount of his time laughing and enjoying everything life has to offer. I think many will be surprised when they meet Jesus someday. I can't wait for the chance to have a mud fight with the Son of God. Can you?

Being "Un - Rule - ly"

I should have known as soon as I started reading again that I'd probably have to stop and write my thoughts again. I really should sleep, but oh well.

Towards the middle of chapter 3, Mike returns to children, reminding us how we 'help' [my word] our children to grow by teaching them the do's and don'ts of society. "They learn how to behave, how to conform to the cultural 'norms' for the greater good [italics mine] of society [or the church]." They learn the rules, become orderly, and responsible members of the "civilized world." However, in our responsibilities of helping them "grow up," have we not also robbed them of the ability to discern when to follow the rules, but also when to break them? Which is more important, the rule(s) or the Rule Maker? "Christianity is this wild religion that has always been more concerned about following Jesus than following the rules of Jesus."

Think about it, when you first became as Christian (as we call it), you didn't know all the "rules," all you knew was Jesus. But then you started to learn all the rules of how to be a "good" Christian, or a "good Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, etc." Christianity became more about what was best for the "church," not what Jesus wants for his people. "The church is always worried we might make a mistake."

But aren't mistakes the trademarks of growth? My favorite quote in the world says: "I'd rather try to do something great and fail, than to do nothing and succeed." - Norman Vincent Peale. Just look at all the stories in the Bible. It's full of people who screwed up; not only once but over and over again. I've only read about One person who was perfect. Mike says, "The church should be the one place in our culture where mistakes are not only expected but welcomed." But what does the church expect (especially of its leaders/pastors, ministers, etc)? PERFECTION!!! That's the rule of the church, not of Jesus. Yes, Jesus said, be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect. But I don't beleive that was his point (that's another "wondering" for another time). How many times did the disciples try to throw in the rules? No children close to Jesus. Or how about the Pharisee's rules? No healing on the Sabbath or eating with 'sinners.' But everytime, Jesus got right back in their faces reminding them that its not about the "rules" its about following Him. Jesus didn't come to replace one set of rules (the OT) for a new set of rules. He said it himself, he did not come to abolish the law (the rules) but to fulfill it. "Jesus kept saying 'Follow Me' not 'follow my rules.' " Most of us have spent our entire life as a christian more worried about following the rules, learning what we can't do, than following Jesus and "celebrating what we can do in Jesus."

I'm going to admit something. I'm in the process of jumping thru all the hoops (following all the rules) it takes to go back to school and get my Ph.D. and hopefully someday being a professor somewhere. But my biggest fear is that I won't be accepted back at my almamater because I don't follow the rules all that well. Don't get my wrong, I'm going to do everything they ask of me: GRE test, research paper, reference forms, etc.; but I just don't do rules well. I know for a fact I don't think or believe like most, if not all of those "in charge" of my acceptance and/or future at this seminary. Being a Baptist seminary, a "Southern" Baptist seminary at that, I am very familiar with their "rules" and I'm just not sure what will happen. Just like Mike Yaconelli, I'm more concerned about following Jesus than following a bunch of man-made rules. I am more and more facinated with Jesus everyday, but I am also more and more disallusioned with "the church" as each day passes. I have experienced so many of the churches "rules" that I have nearly left the ministry (currently I am not serving in any church & have removed my church memebership from my previous church) and The Church, permanently. My hope is that, inspite of my "rebellious" nature, they will see my love for Jesus and for the future of His church. I want so much more and this seemed like a way to make that happen. So that's the direction I'm headed at the moment.

So, in closing. I encourage you who dare to read this to...think. Follow Jesus before you follow any rule; of the church or otherwise. Don't be afraid to break the rules either. Jesus broke the rules all the time. And in so doing, he showed the world how to live; to really live. For the most part, I've never regretted breaking the rules, b/c each time I did it, it was for something more important in the long run. I promise that I will keep breaking the rules until the day I die or Jesus comes to get me. And one day I will hear "well done, my good and faithful servant."

That's enough for tonight I think.

Unwritten Assumptions

In the 3rd chapter of Mike's book, "Dangerous Wonder", he lists 4 assumptions that are made about questions and how these assumptions "neutrlize" our natural curiosity and our courage to ask questions.

The first of these is the the assumption that "questions can be embarrassing."

Here are my thoughts entertwined with some of Mike's words on this assumption:

Mike tells us that our culture teaches us that its embarrassing to admit we don't know something. People will think less of us, if we don't apprear to have all the answers. "In today's world, truth doesn't matter. Image does."

And what is 'funny' is that I experienced this first hand not long ago.

I recently started a new job at small, family owned, retail store. One of our main goals is excellent customer service. I whole-heartedly agree that goal should be a top priority of any business. During my first week, which is all orientation, learning the policies, all the normal stuff of starting a new job, etc. Anyway, I was helping a customer find what she was looking for, and I couldn't answer her question, so I said, "I don't know, but let me see what I can find out for you" (or something to that affect). Unknown to me, the manager was within ear shot of that conversation, and a few minutes later, I was informed that I should NEVER tell a customer "I don't know." "I don't know" doesn't boast well for business or for the customers confidence in the store or for the employees.

You know what? BULL!!!! Here is a perfect example of Mike Yaconelli's first assumption of how our culture drowns our curiosity. Personally I am not at all embarrassed to say "I don't know" nor am I upset or look down on someone else who says "I don't know." Actually, I have more respect for those who have the guts to admit that they don't have all the answers all the time. I love it when pastors can admit from the pulpit that they don't have all the answers; that they too struggle with their faith and with all the hardships in life.

To go back to the store example for a minute, when I worked for another retail store not long ago, there were many things that I had no clue about and I admitted it out right. But, I always told the customer, "I don't know, but I will either find out or I will find one of our other associates that can answer that question for you." Want to know what I found most of the time, the customer was not put off by my lack of knowledge, they were satisfied that I would take the time to help them find the answer or to find someone else who could help them. Sure I could have just said "I don't know" and left them hanging and walk away, but that's not customer service. I truly believe that when we are not willing to admit we don't know and try to make it look like we do, we do a lot more harm than good. That is what is really embarrassing and that is what hypocrosy is really all about. The Church has spent far too many years pretending to have all the answers about God and life, etc. Just like I mentioned in my last blog, doctrines, sets of rules and belief and list of do and don'ts tell us what to believe and think about God and the Church. All the answers can be found in this or that book or statement of beliefs. And questions are squelched and drowned out. And we are left with generations of religious people who wouldn't know who Jesus really was even if He walked up to them and hit the up side the head with a 2x4.

And one more thing, just like in the store I work out now, its not about truth that really matters, its image. And my arguement would be: be truthful and honest. Admitting that we really don't know everyting speaks much more about our image and our integrity than faking our knowledge level ever will.

So what am I telling the customers I help in this new place of employment? I tell them the truth. If I don't know, I admit it. But I also tell them that I will find out or I will find someone who can answer their question. And I will let my integrity speak for itself. And if I get fired over it. So what!!! I will not lie just because someone else thinks image and making money are more important than being truthful with people.

Questions

Ok, so here's my first attempt at keeping up with a blog since I was on Xanga a long time ago.

I'm reading one of my favorite books again: Mike Yaconelli's "Dangerous Wonder." This book is like a mirror of my own heart and passions. My heart and mind resonate with every word I read.

So here are some thoughts for this moment.

Chapter 2: Risky Curiosity, p. 35
Mike begins by reminding us of the 'why questions' of young children. He writes: "Most parents understand that although it is important to attempt an answer, often the answer is irrelevant." It's the act of answering the question(s) that are of the utmost importance. Their questions are "more than a request for information," they are an "act of affection, of communion, and of trusting." A child's question(s) is not about the answer, but about the relationship.
He goes on to say that when a child has a safe place to ask their questions, it breeds an unquenchable curiousity "- a fascination with truth, an unrlelenting hunger to know and be known..." They can sleep in the security that "the knowledge that the one who loves them is bigger than their questions. ...They are safe in the arms of the Keeper of their questions."

So my thoughts are these:

Why are Christians, leaders w/in the Church, and the Church for that matter (no matter what name is on the sign out front) so afraid of questions? Parents freak out when their teenagers begin to look at the teachings of other religions. Baptists have a heart attack when someone brings up the "maraculous gifts" of the Holy Spirit such as speaking in tongues or healing, etc. Methodist for the most part start yellling "fundamentalist" when you teach that that Bible can be taken literally (within context, thank you very much - I'm not going to get into an argument over that one right now). Catholics yell heratic when you say there are only 2 sacraments instead of 7.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm throwing "everyone" under the bus here, and not everyone is like those I've mentioned above. But I'm trying to make a point here: Why are "we" (christians) so afraid of asking questions?
Didn't Jesus tell us that if we don't become like little children we would never enter the kingdom of God? Go back up to the top and read the statements I quoted from Mike and think for a minute.

Our questions are usually about finding out this or that, but aren't they more about finding out if this God we seek is real or not? Is He big enough to deal with all of my questions? Aren't my questions more about connecting with this God, about getting closer to Him, about the relationship? Aren't questions about trust? We don't usually ask quesitons of people we don't trust do we? And the more questions we ask, the more we want to ask?

But what do we usually find in the Church? Questions are squelched. "We have this or that set of beliefs." "If you don't sign this 'doctrinal statement' you can't be a professor here at this christian university." The children are taught in their Sunday School classes is "this" is the way God is and its a sin to think any other way. (ok, ok, that was a little over the top, I will admit. But think about it. I can mention several "local churches" from my past that may not say those words outloud, but I guarentee that is the way they think.)

So, I could go on and on about this, but I hope you are beginning to catch onto my point.

Please don't be afraid of the questions about your faith in Jesus. Don't be afraid of the questions you have hiding in the depths of your heart that you have never dared asked because of what others would think of you. Ask away!!! The God that I know is big enough to handle them. And I know lots of people who are not afraid of the tough questions either. I'm one of them. I may not have all the answers that you may want or need, but I know the God that does.

Ask away. Be a child. Find that unquenchable curiosity again, and ask. Don't ever stop asking. That is when you truly will be a follower of Jesus, a Christian. Christianity is all about the questions. Questions = relationship. Rules, doctrines, belief statements, creeds, etc. are all about religion. I'm sick of religion. Christianity is not a religion, it's a relationship with Jesus.